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by chimaeracabra



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Angry Sex, Dubious Consent, F/M, Family Drama, Fluff, Makeup Sex, Romance, Rough Sex, Smut, dad!bucky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-05
Updated: 2016-09-05
Packaged: 2018-08-13 03:41:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7961071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chimaeracabra/pseuds/chimaeracabra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Missing his family, Bucky decides to pay them a visit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Home

**Author's Note:**

> I am in a very sad mood. My whole world seems to be bleeding from within. I just want something good to happen to me. The only thing I enjoy is writing.

      
  
        Walking up the red brick steps of Bedelia's school, Rae can feel the chill of a summer ending. She can't help pulling at the hem of her pencil skirt as the breeze whips her freshly shaved legs. Normally, Rae's mother picked the girl up, but ever since mom and dad went to Aruba to celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary, there isn't anyone else to fill in for Rae at the end of the day…well, there _is_ , but he's miles away—probably on a different continent—and Rae isn't going to bring him into anything if it's not absolutely necessary. She hasn't seen Bucky in almost a complete year, if she doesn't count the last time he reached her on Skype months ago. She sighs, pulling the ring off her finger before coming into the teacher's line of sight, shoving it into her red handbag.

            Technically, the wedding never actually took place. She only wears the band to remind herself that Bucky exists somewhere within her life. Due to the uncertainty of her complicated relationship with him, she doesn't consider herself single, but at the same time, neither engaged/married. In the four years since Bedelia was born, Rae still has no idea where exactly she and Bucky stand. But having had to move and change her name once before, she can't say she really wants him in her life. Not that it's really his fault; the danger comes with his job. It was nobody's fault that loved ones were frequently the target bait for whatever bad guy the Avengers happened to be fighting.

            When she stands in the doorway and scans the room of only a few children quietly playing, Rae's smile begins to fade. Bedelia is nowhere in sight. Rae wanders into the room, finding her daughter's cubby hole empty. Had she made a mistake of some kind? This is exactly where Bedelia's classroom was the last time she checked. And then Rae tries to remember the last time she actually set foot in her daughter's classroom. Immersing herself in a career was all that she could do to relieve the worry at times. She still had to make a living. Bucky sent money, but she was saving all of that for Bedelia's college fund (or for whatever other emergency might arise at any moment). For a panicked handful of seconds, Rae's heart sinks, until a familiar looking redhead taps her on the shoulder.

            "You're looking for Delia," Mrs. Gallagher states.

            "I know I'm late—later than late. But—"

            "Please, don't freak out. Your husband picked Delia up about a half hour ago."

Rae glances down at her hand, wondering whether she'd forgotten to take the ring off. No.

            "I'm not married."

Mrs. Gallagher's eyebrow arches.

            "Wait—that's not possible. Are you _sure_ it was—"

            "Yeah, he's on record for those you permitted to pick Delia up," Mrs. Gallagher interrupts, seemingly wanting Rae to calm down.

            "…I don't have a husband. There must be some kind of mistake," Rae explains, feeling her heart begin to pound. Mrs. Gallagher waves her over to the desk, where she pulls up a clipboard and flips through a few pages.

            "Yup. A mister…James Barnes."

            "I'm sorry—let me see that. I don't remember…"

Rae grips the paperwork in her hands. Her mother and father and a very good female friend are the only people she recalls giving permission to. But as she flips the pages, she finds copy of a license, and the picture on it is no other than Bucky. Knowing for a fact that she had _never_ listed him as one of Bedelia's pick ups, her heart continues to pound.

            "That doesn't make sense. He hasn't been in the country since…"

            "Ms. Warren?" Mrs. Gallagher's tone begins to shift to one of confusion and slight apprehension. Rae drops the clipboard on the desk, rushing out of the room. _Why would he come back? When did he get here? How did he know mom wasn't going to pick Delia up today?_ Rae's conscience is a mess of frantic thoughts. She starts running towards her car, tripping on the asphalt and scraping her knee. This causes her to yelp, and at the door, she can still hear the teacher calling her name, waving the clipboard that Rae had dropped and asking if everything is alright. Picking herself up and fumbling into her Lexus, Rae floors it down the road.

            It's raining by the time she rushes up her mother's front steps. There's no car around. She kicks off her heels, leaving them in her mother's front yard; they had caused her to trip already. She doesn't want to believe the worst. _What if it wasn't Bucky who got Delia from school? What if it was some kind of trap? What if they got mom and dad? What if their trip was just a ruse?_ Slamming on the doors and ringing the bell frantically, Rae realizes that she'll have to let herself in. By now, she is soaking wet. She begins to hyperventilate, pulling her phone out of her pocket. But as she tries to turn on the device, she realizes that the battery is dead. Dropping the phone on the deck at the back doors, Rae frantically searches the yard for the hide-a-key. She finds it in the rock her mother had carefully hidden in the dirt of a hibiscus flower pot.

            "Mom?! Dad?!" Rae rushes up and down the stairs, no sign of her parents. Freaking out, she hurries back to her car, flooring it in the direction of her home. When she pulls up messily, halfway onto the sidewalk and tapping the fence with the nose of her car, she spots an unfamiliar Jeep in the driveway. Not bothering to even close the car doors, Rae rushes up the front steps and slams her key into the lock. She batters the door before realizing that whoever is in her house has also locked the top lock. The tears come pouring now and she can barely see as she falls through the door on the floor. She shoots up, rushing down the hall.

            "Delia?! Delia! Delia!"

Stopping dead in her tracks in the kitchen, Rae spots Bedelia looking up from the kitchen table with the very same wide blue stare that Bucky has. Bedelia drops her crayon and the color has drained from her cherubic face.

            "Mommy?" she asks, her hands shaking. The sheer volume of Rae's voice had frightened the child, not to mention her soaked through appearance, bare, muddy feet and hands, and bleeding kneecap. Rae rushes around the kitchen table and picks the girl up from her seat. Bedelia begins to cry.

            "You scare me," Bedelia whimpers, her nose sniffling. Rae tries not to crush the girl, who is clearly completely intact. Bucky had turned around at the stove, a spatula in his pale hand, looking on in shock at Rae.

            "I'm _sorry_ , baby," Rae exhales, rocking the child slightly, sitting in a pile on the floor.

            "You're wet," Bedelia states, trying to pull away. Rae releases her and she runs behind Bucky's tall legs, clutching him somewhat uncertainly. Bucky turns off the stove, and for the first time in a whole minute since she collapsed on the floor, Rae pays Bucky attention. She cocks her head to the side a moment, wondering how the hell he's here, how he'd gotten to Bedelia, and how he happens to have a whole new arm.

            "It's okay, sweety," he says, rubbing the back of Bedelia's head. He stoops to her height for a moment.

            "Why don't you go to the bathroom, take off that sweater, and wash your hands, and when you come back, I promise your grilled cheese will be ready, okay?" He stares at the muddy handprints Rae had left on the girl's clothes. His smile is brighter than Rae remembers. Chewing her fingers, Bedelia looks worriedly at her mother. Rae waves in the direction of the bathroom.

            "It's…it's okay, baby. Go ahead."

Belinda hides her face in Bucky's flannel shirt. He kisses her forehead.

            "Go ahead, Delia," he says sweetly. At that, she runs away and Rae waits until she hears the bathroom door close before looking Bucky in the eyes.

            "My god, Holly. What the _hell_ happened to you?" Bucky asks, staring at her muddy hands and feet. Her shoes are still sitting outside somewhere at her mother's house, a five-minute drive away. At that moment, Rae realizes how cold she is.

            "That's not my name anymore…remember?" she says emptily. Bucky stands and when he approaches, Rae backs up. Bucky pauses, looking away a moment, as if to make sure that the bathroom door is still closed and that their daughter isn't listening.

            "Why are you even _here_?" Rae asks.

            "What do you mean 'why am I here?' …It's Delia's birthday tomorrow, and I want her to start remembering me," Bucky explains, offering a hand where Rae is still sitting on the floor. She stares in disbelief at what appears to be a flesh hand on his left side.

            "There's a lot I have to tell you. I know I shouldn’t have just shown up like this but—"

            " _You shouldn't be here_ ," Rae states, closing her eyes tightly for a few seconds. When she feels Bucky's hands under her arms, lifting her up, the breath leaves her. _Is this even happening?_

            "I had to see her," he says. When Rae opens her eyes to find that she's not imagining any of this, a breath catches in her throat. She swears that he's even more handsome than the last time she saw him in the flesh. And the agony of the fear she felt moments before comes rushing back to her. She pushes him with all her strength, which doesn't send him very far. Bucky deflates a little, looking disappointed.

            "Do you have any idea what you just put me through?" she asks, fighting to keep her voice down.

            "Holly, please—"

            "Do you have _any_ idea what you fucking just put me through?!" she pushes him harder this time.

            "Hey," Bucky says firmly. Rae's pushing turns into slapping and the next thing she knows, Bucky is restraining her against the wall.

            " _Don't_ do this," he pleads, " _Not_ in front of her." His voice breaking a little reduces Rae's anger. He was hoping she would kiss him instead, but knew she had every right to be angry. He presses her into the wall with his body, loosening his grip on her wrists.

            "I knew your parents were going out of town, that you'd pick Delia up too late—like you always do when you even pick her up, and that you wouldn't let me see her if I told you I was here," Bucky explains quietly, calmly. Rae's anger gradually subsides.

            "How did you _know_ that? How the _fuck_ did you know all of that?" she asks, trying to ignore the relief of feeling Bucky's body against hers again. She doesn't expect to get a real answer from him; only to understand that even when he's not in town, he has people watching over them. She knows that it's all for Bedelia's sake, and she couldn't blame him.

            "She's _mine_ just as much as she's yours, and you can't keep me out of her life completely. I told you everything would be fine—"

She turns her head to the side, looking far away from Bucky. In her peripheral vision, she can see his eyes darting over her frantically.

            "I'm sorry. I should have told you as soon as I got here," he states, realizing that Rae had gone crazy searching for Delia.

            "I just knew you wouldn't let me come here—"

            "Don't tell me you already forgot _why_ that is?" Rae asks, meeting Bucky's gaze again. With guilt, Bucky remembers the hardest mission of his life, the one where an enemy managed to take Holly hostage while she was five months pregnant. It was after the rescue when she told Bucky that she couldn't marry him. Not if their lives would be like that. Bucky had managed to get Holly back in one piece, but at the cost of her comfort. Though it's been tearing him up inside for years, he'd reasoned that he cares enough about his family not to let anything happen to them because of who he was. Who he used to be still haunts him at times.

            "I'm sorry," he says so quietly that Rae almost doesn't hear him. It had been at the advice of Barton to at least change her name and history, but it wasn't enough to get Rae to let her guard down. She could never rest knowing that someone who might still have beef with the Winter Soldier, someday, somehow, could target her and Delia just to get to Bucky.

            "I'm sorry," he says again, pressing his forehead to Rae's and inhaling. There it is. She still smells the same. Exactly as he remembers her. Instead of fighting him off, Rae relaxes. It's been such a long fucking time since she's been near Bucky like this. Talking to him on the phone just isn't the same. The sound of the toilet flushing and sink running causes Rae to come out of her trance. She pulls away from Bucky, wiping wet strands out of her face. Bucky looks her up and down with clear concern.

            "You're bleeding," he says, leaning down and swiping her knee with his thumb. She gasps at the pain she hasn't realized until now. Bucky looks up at her and then his head whips in the direction of the sound of the bathroom door opening. Rae seizes the moment to rush upstairs and fix herself.

            "I finish," chimes Delia's small voice.

            "That's my girl. Now how about that grilled cheese?"

Rae pauses in the hall, listening to Bucky's laugh as Bedelia starts singing her favorite song. Rae wonders whether she realizes exactly who Bucky is. It's been such a long time since she's seen him that she was beginning to run out of stories to tell the girl about why daddy isn't home. Rae closes and locks the front door, the rain having become even heavier since she got home. She makes her way upstairs, decompresses, sits on the bed and cries for a good two or three minutes before taking herself to the bathroom. She stands under the hot water so long that she loses track of time. It's only the door opening abruptly that causes her to turn off the showerhead.

            "Holly?" Bucky calls.

            "Rae," she corrects him, pulling the curtain back and pushing the door closed against him.

            "What happened to you? It's been an hour. We finished eating without you," Bucky states. Without seeing his face, she can tell that he's worried. Holly pushes the door harder, and realizes that Bucky is trying to get in, as if he needs a visual to assure himself that she's there.

            "Just _hold on_ ," she snaps at him.

            "Holly—"

            "I said hold on!" she shouts, pushing the door harder. Bucky sighs, letting it close. _Who does he think he is?! He couldn't just pop back into her life like that, like he had the right to practically kidnap their daughter and come home to make dinner and act like he hasn't been gone for a year._ Anger wells up within Rae's chest once again. She paces back and forth, not knowing what to do. Part of her is ashamed deep down. It wasn't like she'd gotten lonely without Bucky around. It was only once, but talking to a coworker had lead to drinks, then dinner, then his bed, and she'd regretted it ever since. She'd done it out of loneliness.

            Rae pulls the towel off the rack and wraps it around herself after dabbing dry. When she steps out into the room, Bucky is sitting at the foot of the bed, twisting a gold band around his left ring finger. She wonders for a moment whether he'd worn one every day, even though they never officially had a ceremony. She notices then how much longer his hair has gotten; it stops just above the middle of his bicep.

            "Who is Tyler?" Bucky asks calmly, continuing to twist the ring around his finger. Rae looks at him hard for a handful of seconds. Bucky just about rolls his eyes. He sighs.

            "Don't act coy with me, Holly. He's the first name out of Delia's mouth when I start talking to her. She said he was here on the weekend. That he read her a bedtime story."

Despite the fact that Bucky isn't displaying anger in his voice or on his face, Rae can feel it emanating off him.

            "Holly—"

            "That's not my name anymore—"

            "God _dammit_ , Holly—who the _fuck_ has been reading my daughter Dr. Seuss at night, while I'm on the other side of the world—?"

            "Yeah—James, on the other side of the world—far away from your family!" Rae bursts, unable to contain her fury any longer. She's still angry that he scared her like that, picking Delia up without giving any notice, somehow managing to get himself on that list so he could pick her up in the first place. She was sick of the games, but knew she had it coming when she'd try to stop Bucky from seeing her. It wasn't his fault, but danger followed him, and they both knew it. Bucky hurries to the door, closing it quietly. Rae starts for it.

            "Keep your voice down. She's gonna worry—"

            "She fell asleep watching the TV—she's fine," Bucky reassures. Rae brushes past him, opening the door, but Bucky pulling her back and slamming it catches her off guard.

            "You're not going to walk away from me like that," he says, and it almost sounds like a threat. Rae's gaze hones in on his arm. He had since taken off the flannel shirt, leaving him in a formfitting gray t-shirt. He notices her staring where the silver limb had been blown off the last time she checked in with him.

            "A lot happened—and I'll tell you everything—but not until you tell me that Tyler is nothing to you _or_ Delia, and that you're not going to see him ever again."

Realizing that Bucky isn't going to let her leave the room, Rae starts towards the dresser. She pulls out some sweatpants and a long sleeved shirt, keeping her back to Bucky while she shoves them on.

            "I'm not fucking playing, Holly," Bucky says impatiently.

            "He _is_ no one, James…I'm not seeing him anymore—I told him I can't."

            "…But he's been here. And he's been around Bedelia," Bucky states. She can tell that he'd drifted closer to her since her back was turned. She sighs.

            "He's _not_ some double agent assassin. There's nothing to worry about—"

            "You don't know that," Bucky interrupts, grabbing her arm and turning her to face him with what almost looks like paranoia. He hears what sounds like a truck driving by, and whisks towards the window, pulling open the curtain. He sighs.

            "You fucked him?" Bucky asks before turning to face her again.

            "…Why does it even matter to you, James? I'm not your wife, right?" Bucky stares at her angrily for a few seconds, the anger subsiding to regret, and then desperation.

            "I _never_ stop thinking about that night," he whispers, and Rae doesn't have to ask him what he's talking about. That mission was the one that almost made him quit the life. If it wasn't for Steve, he would have stopped a long time ago.

            "So you _have_ to understand when I tell you that this isn't about you or us, it's about our _daughter_. You shouldn't be seeing anyone—especially when I'm not _here_ —"

            "Don't you _ever_ take her like that again, James," Rae interrupts, her eyes watering. He sighs.

            "You have _no_ idea what I was thinking when I couldn’t find her today—no _idea_ ," Rae growls. Bucky bites his bottom lip a moment, closing his eyes.

            "I know, Holly…But you and I both know that you weren't going to let me near this house if I told you I was in town. And I'm telling you, I _had_ to see my daughter—"

            "But you don't get to just _decide_ when that happens, that you feel like coming home—"

            "She's _my daughter_!" he yells angrily. The volume of his voice startles Rae for a moment. She had sit back on the bed.

            "You can't just keep me away forever," he breathes, gripping his chest with that hand that she doesn't remember being so normal.

            "And I can't  believe you think that I'd just show up if I had even the _slightest_ idea that it wasn't safe for me to do so," he says, pointing angrily. But his eyes water and he starts towards her.

            "Holly, I—"

            "I think you should get out…go sleep in the guest room," Holly says, closing her eyes, her lips pursing tightly. She doesn't want to argue with him, especially not now that he's here, in the flesh. She hears silence before hands are pulling her knees apart and her back is met with the sheets. It had turned Bucky on to see her just pull that towel off and get dressed, like she didn't give a shit that he was standing there. He realizes just how long it's been since he's seen her naked.

            "James," she says, keeping a firm tone. But she doesn't open her eyes as Bucky practically snatches her. He pins her wrists down so hard that it hurts for a few seconds. He waits until she looks up into his eyes. She glares up at him, beginning to struggle.

            "Get _off_ me," she says, but when he presses down on her, she lets out a moan and tilts her chin skywards.

            "How many times did he fuck you?" Bucky demands, wanting an answer. When she tries to get up, he pushes her back down. She closes her eyes.

            "Tell me what the fuck you've been doing while I was gone," he orders. She struggles against his hands again, and he lets her wrists go free. She starts to push up on his chest, and the firmness of it invites her warmly. Rae goes from trying to shove Bucky away to smoothing her hands up under his shirt.

            " _Tell me_ ," he orders with gritted teeth. Again, when she tries to get up, Bucky pins her in place, and the sound of her sweatpants ripping meets her ears. She doesn't have to ask about this new arm to know how much damage it's capable of inflicting. Bucky struggles with his belt for a few seconds, keeping Rae's wrist pinned down with one hand.

            "I-it was just once," she admits shamefully, regretting it, "And only because I _missed_ you," Rae adds, clutching his cheek with her free hand. Bucky finds his way out of his jeans and forces himself inside of her before she has a chance to explain any further. She winces with the suddenness of his thrust.

            "Then why are your legs shaved and why are you waxed?" he asks, letting all his weight down at the waist, causing her to feel every inch of him immediately. A breath catches in her throat.

            "Why the _fuck_ would you do that, Holly?" Bucky asks desperately, leaning over her a moment to search her face. She presses gingerly at his navel, her eyes watering momentarily. Part of him wanted to hurt her for even going out to dinner with another guy, but he felt hurt deep down that she would even wander.

            "I swear," she breathes, "Just once, Bucky," She grips at his lower back, having missed the enormity of his girth, despite the slight searing sensation inside of her unprepared body. He slows for a minute, moaning at how tight she is. The two of them breathe heavily for a handful of seconds, and Bucky releases his restraining grip on her wrists.

            "Why'd you forget you were mine?" he breathes, rolling his hips gently, letting her warm up a bit more. Bucky kisses her forehead, wiping a tear that had rolled its way out of Holly's eye. And she wraps her arms around him at last, caving.

            "Oh, Holly," Bucky breathes, pulling his arms under her back and cradling her in them, pressing his forehead to hers. The tears keep streaming out of her eyes, and she holds him so tightly that he knows she missed him as much as he missed her.

            "I'm sorry," she breathes a number of times. With each fuck, it's harder for her to speak, until she can't say a word but to moan while he's pounding her into the mattress. He'd wanted her for so long that he felt like he would break. The moment he saw her clutching their child with relief, his heart started beating again. The moment he slipped into her depth,  he became whole again. She gets wet enough that he shoves in and pulls out with ease. He stands on the floor, hooking her legs in either arm, ramming between her thighs until she clenches around him desperately, signaling her end. Bucky collapses, releasing inside of her, shuddering, inhaling through gritted teeth.

            Holly had dearly missed the sensation of his hot seed spurting thick ropes inside of her, the sweetness of his moan that came with it. When she got out of bed this morning, this is the last thing she ever would have pictured happening. Bucky pulls her into bed beside him, running his fingers up and down her spine, over the mounds of her breasts, teasing the nipples. He kisses her shoulder, his hair a tousled mess, stuck to his face in places with sweat.

            "I never meant to stay away as long as I did, baby…I just didn't want to think about what could happen if I came back. I couldn't take it anymore," Bucky admits, "If you'll still have me, I want to make this real. Delia's going to need me in her life. I won't deprive her of that." Holly sighs, staring into his eyes. Every day that she woke the girl up and every night that she put her down, it was like Bucky never left; her eyes were Bucky's to a T, and he never stopped watching her. Bucky laces his fingers between Holly's.

            "I know she will. I was running out of reasons to tell her why you're gone."

He's quiet a while, rubbing her hands.

            "That's my fault. If you marry me…I'll forget that you ever cheated on me," Bucky adds. After a moment, Holly smiles wide.

            "We can do this. I want to make it work. For Delia," Bucky states. She nods.

            "For Bedelia."


End file.
